


Evan/Jared/Connor Drabbles!

by filthyrevolutionary



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Crying, Drabbles, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, One Shot, Polyamory, Sickfic, Suicide, connor is ace and demiromo, evan is bi, i'll add more tags as we go on, jared is so gay, so so gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-29
Packaged: 2018-10-10 23:37:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10450089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/filthyrevolutionary/pseuds/filthyrevolutionary
Summary: HELLO BIG SUICIDE TRIGGER WARNING





	1. Don't Cry

Evan had never seen Jared cry before, and they’d been friends for years, so it’s not hard to imagine the look of utter distress on Evan’s face when he walked into Jared’s bedroom to find the boy curled up on the floor in a puddle of tears. Evan audibly gasped and hurried over to Jared, placing a hand on his back as lowered himself to the floor.

“Jared, what’s wrong? Did I do something?” he asked, his words slipping out faster than buttered bullets. Jared replied with only a slight shake of his head and continued sobbing. Evan took a deep breath and carefully removed Jared’s glasses so that they weren’t uncomfortably digging into the side of his face anymore.

“It’s alright, Jay. I got you. Just let it all out and then we’ll talk about it later, yeah?” he suggested, running his fingers through Jared’s hair. 

Jared only sucked in a breath and nodded.

It took a while for him to calm down fully, and Evan helped him up and sat him on the bed. 

“You okay now? Feeling better?” Evan asked, surprisingly calm. Jared nodded again. 

“Connor?” he asked weakly, his voice cracking.

“Connor’s at his therapy session. He’ll be out soon and I’ll call him to come over.” Evan promised, wiping away Jared’s tears and sliding his glasses back onto his face.

“Mhm,” Jared replied. “I don’t know why that happened. I just needed to..” he mumbled, looking disappointed in himself. Almost immediately, Evan was sitting on the bed beside him, his arms wrapped tightly around his boyfriend.

“It’s okay to just need to. It’s hard to keep tears inside when things have been building up, especially for you and Connor since neither of you ever let yourselves go. But you’re safe with us, I promise.”

“I don’t wanna be a burden.”

“You’re never a burden, Jay. I care about you so much. So does Connor, okay?” 

Jared looked at him with a smirk on his face.

“How’re you being so calm?” he asked, trying to figure out what had prevented Evan from spiralling into a full blown panic attack from seeing his boyfriend cry for the first time in his life.  
Evan grinned and shrugged.

“Gotta stay calm for you, I guess.” he tried, looking at Jared as if he knew if Evan was right or not. 

“That’s cool, Evan.” Jared sighed, resting his head on Evan’s shoulder, and he knew that whatever he needed, wherever he was, he was safe with his boys. 


	2. What Next?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO BIG SUICIDE TRIGGER WARNING

 

It had been a month.

One month since Evan Hansen had walked into his boyfriend’s room to find him collapsed on the floor, surrounded by pills and empty bottles of alcohol. 

One month since Connor Murphy disappeared.

Evan didn’t go to the funeral. He didn’t even get out of bed. Jared had gone because if both of them didn’t go, the only people attending the funeral would be Connor’s parents and Zoe, and everyone knew that that was definitely not what Connor would’ve wanted. 

Evan stopped eating, stopped going to school, stopped talking altogether. He was flickering out and it broke Jared’s heart to watch it happen and not do anything to stop it no matter how hard he tried.

“Hi, Connor,” was the first thing Evan said in weeks, and it was to a slab of stone wedged into the ground with Connor’s name etched into it. He ran his finger over the line between the year Connor was born and the year he died. 

“It’s funny. They think they can fit your whole life into this little line,” he mumbled, a few tears rolling down his cheeks. “They obviously never knew you, did they?” He waited for an answer, but it never came. 

“If I had gotten to you a little earlier, maybe you’d still be here. Maybe I’d be able to stay. But I was too slow, wasn’t I?” 

He was sobbing now, his words were wet and desperate. 

“I basically killed you. And I’m gonna do the same to Jared and.. What next, y'know?” he asked, pulling two envelopes out of his bag, one addressed to Mom, and the other addressed to Jared. 

He leant back against the headstone and took a deep breath before opening his bag again and producing a bottle of vodka and bottle of pills. If he was going to go, he was going to go the way Connor did.

“I’ll be there soon. Promise.” he whispered.

  

— 

 

“It worked?” Evan.

“I was wondering how long I was going to have to wait for you, sunshine.” Connor.

“Evan, please wake up.” Jared.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm very sorry


	3. Strawberries

**from: con man**

**to: the nerd herd**

_im not going to school today_

_bcos im dying probs_

 

**from: treevan**

_please don’t die !!!!_

 

**from: minecraft**

_don’t go into the light connor!_

 

**from: con man**

_i’m loving this attention_

 

**from: treevan**

_are you okay?_

 

**from: con man**

_m sick_

 

**from: treevan**

_omw_

 

**from: con man**

_school_

 

**from: treevan**

_shush im on my way_

 

**from: con man**

_cool good_

 

**from: minecraft**

_you guys can copy my notes_

_feel better con_

_i’ll come by after school_

 

**from: con man**

_bring me strawberries_

 

**from: minecraft**

_i shall do that_

 

**from: con man**

_hurry evaaaaan_

 

**from: treevan**

_i’m coming con!!!! be there soon!!_

 

Connor rarely got sick, but when he did, the world was ending. Evan wasn’t exactly surprised to see Connor half dressed, sprawled across his bedroom floor looking white as a sheet. 

“Oh, you. Come on, big man,” Evan mumbled, crouching beside the boy and helping him up. Connor just groaned and leaned into Evan he was practically dragged up onto his feet and plopped on his bed. “What did you do to end up down there?” Evan asked.

“I tried to get ready for school,” Connor explained weakly. “But I passed out or something because then I was on the floor.”

“You’re an idiot, you know?” Evan chucked as he stripped Connor back down to his boxers and tucked him into bed.

Connor just nodded and smiled a little. Evan was so good at this. He cast his mind back to when Evan was visiting his dad (against his will, of course) and Connor got sick. Jared had had to take care of him, and he did love Jared, he really did, but he definitely wasn’t a mother hen like Evan was. 

He closed his eyes and felt a kiss on his forehead.

“Sleep tight, Con,” Evan whispered, pulling Connor’s sweaty hair back gently into a bun at the back of his head to keep it from getting in his face. “Love you.”

And with that, Connor was fast out. 

—

When Connor woke up seven hours later, he was squished between his two boyfriends. His head was resting on Evan’s chest and his legs were draped over Jared. They both had a hand each. Jared was squeezing it rhythmically, rubbing circles with is thumb on the back of Connor’s hand, while Evan was playing with his fingers, tangling them together with his own.

“It’s aliiiiiiive!” Jared whisper-shouted when he noticed Connor was awake. 

“Hey, sleepyhead. Feeling better?” Evan asked him, and he nodded.  
There was some nature documentary playing on Jared’s laptop at the foot of the bed, and Evan was torn between making sure Connor was still alive, or paying attention to the computer screen.

Evidently, Connor and Jared both noticed this and looked at each other, chuckling. 

“It’s okay, acorn,” Jared mumbled. “You can keep watching. Connor’s not going anywhere.”

Evan responded to this with a relieved sigh and relaxed. 

Connor may have felt like complete shit, but he had the world’s best boyfriends and no one could argue against that. 

He started to drift off again when Jared shook him awake.

 

“Hey, loser. I didn’t buy these strawberries for you to just fall asleep near them.”


End file.
